I've always had a fascination with Johnny Depp. Who wouldn't? He's hot, smart (sounding at least) and totally sexy. Long hair, short hair, blonde or brunette...doesn't matter. Back in the mid 80's when 21 Jump Street came out I fell in love. I was also quite fascinated with TigerBeat, Bop and any other teeny-bopper magazine that came out. Off course we girls would trade off the pictures with each other and plaster them to our walls in our bedrooms. I had two fascinations. River Phoenix and Johnny Depp. River had a lot more pictures than Johnny Depp so he took the main wall in my room. Johnny however was a hard commodity to find. Fortunately most of my girlfriends were looking for pics of the Coreys and Kirk Cameron....in which I gladly exchanged for any pics of River or Johnny.
Anyway...I had the picture here in a frame. Yes...a huge fan. Years later...in fact it was 1995. I driving home from my first year of college. As I pulled into the driveway I noticed a couple of boxes of "junk" in the driveway. When I asked my mother what this was all about she said, "Oh I was just cleaning out the basement and thought I'd have that guy who owns the junk store come and get some stuff." I immediately noticed my handheld sand weights (which I never used) and bitched and moaned about how she could throw away stuff that wasn't even hers. In disgust she or I gave up and I think the boxes moved back into the basement OR the junk guy came and got them. I'm not really sure. I do know that he had ALREADY been there a took a load.
Then on one summer day my sister and I were bored and decided to hit the "junk store" and see if we could locate our old...well...junk. We laughed as we went in noticed old duffle bags, games and crap like that. As we rounded the corner she spots a picture frame and says, "What asshole would put a (magazine) picture of Johnny Depp in a frame?" I replied, "Um, that asshole was/is me and that's MY frame." I then looked at her and said, "Shit! I used to hide things behind picture frames like notes from friends or boyfriends so Mom would neb in...I wonder if there is something behind there?" So I grabbed the 2 1/2x3 frame and slid open the back to find....
A picture of myself.
My 6th grade picture to be exact.
Braces and all.
As I look over at my sister who is in tears and hiccupping, I thought...fuck. I have to buy this now. So I dolled out a quarter and bought myself...and Johnny...back. Though...I still think he's worth a lot more.
Maybe he'll read this somehow and we'll become pals...or lovers.
4 comments:
This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I don't even want to revisit in my mind the photos of Donnie from NKOTB that I had in frames and hung around my bedroom.
Manalive...thank you. About time there was an update. And in response to your comments on McGruff: I don't make the news, I simply report it.
ha ha. love this post.
How do i say this easy.......... he'll never read this and you will never meet him.... hmmmmm .. yeah i meant that to come out a different way but oh well.
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