The Bitch Is Back.

2 days left...and I'm back to work. I'm already counting the days until vacation again. Pathetic? Yes. Reality? Yes. I'm going to be a big fucking baby about it, but I'm really pissed off I didn't get a new job this year. It's mainly due ot location. My job could be shitty somewhere else, too (and it's not that shitty right now, but location...(Now the year isn't up and because school districts are notorious for late interviewing, I'm still holding onto hope.) Last year I interviewed after the school year had already started. However, I think the past few interviews I have been the "token" interview. Meaning...they had someone in mind for the job, but had to interview a few people to make it look good. I don't even know why they really go through all that bullshit. It would be much less grief if they just hired, and interviewed when they really wanted someone new. The only positive thing is that (if I don't get a new job mid-year) I will have 2 years in an urban school which looks good. So am I bitching? Yes. Will I continue to bitch? For a little while at least.

My main bitch is that there is NOTHING to do here. The culture (or lack there of) is depressing when you have to weed out the men by NASCAR numbers, snuff can wears in the back pocket of jeans (holes worn in pockets were only sexy on George Michael) and people who have never left the 13 colonies and think Daytona is a far way to go for vacation. (Not that I've ever been to Daytona...but I don't really care.) I can't say I want someone cultured because there is culture everywhere (I'm pulling the ESL crap on you now and retracting the prior statement of culture.) But, I would like someone who is exposed and would like more exposure. Who goes to NYC not to just "see a show" but wants to hang out in the local neighborhoods, not eat a chain restaurant and try a local beer because it's what the locals do and you're tired of your usual light beer. Someone who doesn't like sushi because they have tried it and it "feels strange in their mouth" (that's from IronChef, kids.) Someone who who says they listen to every kind of music, and actually do listen to every kind of music. Even if it's not popular. Someone who says they like Yoga because it's a hour of time when they are not allowed to talk and not because "I feel so in tune with the world." Someone who admits to liking a good bottle of wine because of the taste, but at home drinks boxed wine because it's just as good and when they want to get drunk, they feel like spending $14 instead of $50. Someone who talks about the books they read because they actually enjoy them and not because they the "thing" to read. (Circa ex-beau who had On the Road sitting in his car for 2 1/2 years.) Someone who's...well...a lot like me, but not me. Mirror image? No. Jigsaw piece. More like it.

You say, "Doesn't everyone want this?" Yeah. You're probably right.

However, I'm just in a bitchy mood tonight. Deal with it.

Maybe it's the moon. Though the full moon just passed. Hey, I'm a Cancer. We react to this shit.

So what am I going to do to make my year better? (You have to know that I won't just wallow in this shit.)

1. I'm learning Spanish. Fluently...or at least as best as I can. I've been reading a basic conversation book every night and sometimes even dream in Spanish...though I'm a lot more fluent in my dreams than in the awake time--it must be in there somewhere then, right?
2. I'm applying to school to work on my PhD. In what? Not totally sure yet. In education obviously, but I have some ideas. I think I need to decide by November (or at least to what school and I guess a program.)
3. I'm going to work on (one of) my books and make a "focused" effort to make some major progress. (One good seller and then I wouldn't have to worry about getting a new job.) Chorizo the Tree Frog--that's my newest children's book.
4, 5, 6...I don't know yet...any suggestions?

Okay...enough for tonight...and sorry, I haven't uploaded all the pictures from the trip yet.