Where has the summer gone? I know it's not over, but I feel like I've not had a summer. I took a nap today for the first time in at least a month. It was pretty good, but not as relaxing as I wished it would have been. I woke up feeling guilty that I should have been putting my cabinet doors on or unpacking a box or something. As much as I have been wanting to move, I think my subconscious isn't ready. Not sure why, but something's weighing heavy. Neville sure isn't ready to move. We stayed the other night and he kept me up all night. I brought him over when I was doing yard work and he literally barked for 4 hours. I think he was saying something like, "what have you done to get us kicked out?" And I wanted to answer him, "I'm not sure, but it sucks."
So to answer your comment, Cags...30 is somewhat uneventful and burdensome. Not that I expected some huge revelation...okay, so maybe I did expect a life-changing event. That's my nature. My head-in-the-clouds, optimistic view that makes me the chipper person that I always am (scoff) usually leaves me let down. I have top expectations and then reality sets in and I'm disappointed. Maybe it's the moon, maybe it's the time or maybe it's just me, but I feel very unsettled at this point. I'm one of those people that thinks that everything happens for a reason., but I haven't quite seen a reason for the way things have fallen. It's not what I've chosen, but what's been decided by default. In a nuthell...I hate my town, job, dating status and social life at this point. And for those of you saying it could be worse..."be happy you have a job and a place to live"...a big fat raspberry to you. It's my pity party right now. Don't spoil it with your objective point of view.
Needless to say this isn't my night. Or week. My oven doesn't work, my dog hates my new house, I don't have a new job, and I'm still stuck in this shithole county: alone and dateless none the less. I'd really like to go to bed, wake up in 1998 and start all over again. At least 1999 or 2003.
Damn, am I Crabby.
2 comments:
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
Chin up, fellow Cancerian...
lesterhead..
My goal is to get to Pittsburgh, but the past 4 years has failed me. I'm thinking...I need a new goal. Can't move without a job, can't get a job...hmm...what's life telling me?
terible...
good advice. what would i be doing? writing. where would i be? in a bigger city with more opportunity than this.
i am joing a master's league swim team this fall. (my first trial meet is the 5th of Aug and then one on the 12th or 13th...yikes!) but like singing...i miss swimming, too.
i don't even like the norm and it's hard to change. i guess it's the cancer in us.
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