Saturday night I met my friend Emily who was in from New Orleans at her sister's apartment on the South Side of Pittsburgh. It was great to see her and sisters, friends and family. We headed out to a bar called Jimmy D's. I haven't been there in quite a while. Being 28 I will say that I felt ancient, but still longed for the fraternity house atmosphere it put off. The music was what I call "Pit Music" (an inside joke for those WC people.) We had a good time doing a little drinking, dancing and the best part of it all....people watching. It's amazing what you see when you go out. Pittsburgh is well known to be a bevy of bad fashion. I probably could put that statement to the majority of southwestern PA. Jimmy D's was definitely the place to prove this theory. I spotted too tight tops, too tight pants, florals! The size issue nowadays is amazing. Are women (girls, too) more confident in their bodies that they think they can wear anything? or do these girls have no friends to say, "honey...you CANNNNNNOOT wear that!"
After a while I felt a little guilty for talking as though I've never had a fashion problem (though I will say if I did it was blip in my radar.) Then my good friend Emily reminded me that (and I quoth) "As long as I have a voice, I will speak out in the name of FASHION!" Yeah, I didn't feel bad then. Someone has to do it, right?
Here are a few of the fashion disasters I spotted Saturday night...in no particular order.
1. Tan pants that were 2 sizes two small. She didn't have panty lines, however I would have rather seen panty lines than the cottage cheese she packed in the trunk. Suggestion- black pants (even when they're too tight, you can't see what's underneath.)
2. "Bellied shirt" Now, don't confuse this with the belly shirt that has resurfaced from 1985. This bellied shirt was a too tight shirt that this girl should have definitely thought twice about. I actually thought twice that maybe pregnant women should drink at bars. Suggestion-cute little crocheted shawl to hide the belly.
3. Victorian Floraled shirt. This is just a plain NO. Florals weren't cute in the 80's and 90's and they're not cute now. I think they are made so that when grandmas venture out to buy gifts they can buy you something you can take back. Suggestion-Take it back and tell grandma they didn't have it in your size.
4. Sandals. Um, hello?? It's October 17 and we're not in South Beach or LA. It's after Labor Day, honey. Some rules still need to be obeyed. And....it was 45 degrees out! Suggestion-check the weather channel and calendar before you go out.
5. Uggs, jean skirt, t-shirt. Separately...good jean skirt, good t-shirt, ehhh...not so sure on the Uggs right now. I can't decide. However, together? Uh, last year called and they want Mary-Kate's outfit back. Suggestion-read Glamour, Cosmo...shit read some magazine dated with the current month and date.
6. And this is the biggest one. One girl committed so many crimes, I actually felt bad like maybe she was in Learning Support for fashion. Outfit included....tan/white large knit winter sweater (not quite fitted, but not huge,) unironed cargo chinos, woven Mexicanesque looking belt, SANDALS, and summer canvas pink purse with bamboo handles. That purse must have cost a pretty penny to try to get that much wear out of it. (I'm starting to sweat just thinking about this one.) This definitely requires a few suggestions.
Suggestions....
a. Sandals...self explanatory.
b. Sweater...not bad, but not with this outfit. Looks like football game or fall walk. Small knit, fitted next time.
c. Cargos...Girls need to be feminine and accentuate our bodies. Bulky pockets rarely do that.
d. Belt...try a satin ribbon one. Keep the Spanish to "cervesa" when out.
e. Purse...buy classic. Don't put money into a purse you'll use a few times in 3 months! Better off, buy knockoff.
In any sense Saturday night made me feel much better about myself. The few extra pounds I harbor don't seem so important being that I know how to mask them with cute outfits. When I feel old in a bar, I know I still have the fashion sense I had at 16 and 21...and I don't think I'll get stuck in an era, nor try to fit into a style that isn't me....and will NEVER be me. Most of all. I know that I have friends that would rescue me from these fashion diseases if they would arise for they have to voice for fashion. Ladies, please take the pledge. Stand up for fashion!
No comments:
Post a Comment