Very Funny In a Weird Way..

I received this email from my sister this morning with this link.

"Very funny in a weird way"

My Spaces and The Things Going On Around Them

Mini-Updates

Home:
Neville and I stayed at our new house last night. We walked this morning. Being that he's sleeping like a rock right now, he got as much sleep as I did. I believe I was up at 1:30, 3:30, 5:00 and then finally 5:45. Hmmph. I suppose he'll get used to it. I really don't see how he doesn't love my ultra plush, pillow top mattress. It's sooooo comfy!

Health:
Went to the doctor today. On the was down I listened to a new CD I bought. The Essential Michael Jackson. I highly recommend it. I was cracking up as I was driving in my mom's convertible (she's out of town so I get to play) and jamming to Rock With You. I know he's a freak, but you can't knock the music.
Also at the doctor I was asked if I was using "protection." I answered "no" and then suddenly felt irresponsible. So I had a Bridget Jones' moment where I fumbled over my words and in an elevated tone blurted, "Well...d-don't need anything at this point in my life!" It was all not to have an elbow to the ribs to the nurse and a "hardy-har" come out. I definitely needed a British accent, too. *I'm not irresponsible, I'm just a lame-ass, singleton.

Social:
On the way home I stopped at Sheetz to get something to drink. I never drink or eat anything before the doctor as the scale looms. (Turns out I'm 9 pounds thinnner than last year!) Anyway...as I was on my way to my car some old bitch was pulling into a parking space. Now I had seen her already attempt to pull in once. I wasn't going to wait around to watch her park when I could easily hop in my car and pull away and leave my space empty (because the other three empty spaces on the other side of her were making it difficult for her to pull her VAN in the spot. Now. Those of you familiar with Sheetz -and I'm sure other convenience stores- note that there's a sign that says "NO VANS OR TRUCKS. CARS ONLY." Apparently the BlueBlocker didn't see the sign. She did manage to rasp at me through the glass because I walked into her space (the she wasn't even remotely pulled into yet) and mouth out some old people words obscenity style. What did I do? I stared the bitch down. I was ready to snap right back at her crotchety ass. Especially reminding her that the sign says "NO VANS OR TRUCKS. CARS ONLY." But...I think the stare scared her. Or, at least I'd like to think so. I know...lame to want to fight with an old woman, but the other day another one parked in TWO spaces and left me without a spot. Yes. Current hate: People who can't park.

Love:
Speaking of MySpace. I keep getting an email from a certain person on there. I ignored the 1st. The 2nd. And now the 3rd. Um, if I didn't email you back, it's because I don't want to. Repeated emails don't normally change my mind. Plus...I know this guy. Haven't talked to him for over 12-15 years...but I know him. He used to call a bunch of my girlfriends when I was in highschool and he was a bit older. 5 years (that's a big deal in hs, ya know.) Anyway...if you've Googled me and are reading this, then at least acknowledge that you remember who I am in an email. I am female. I have a memory like an elephant. *And I've been busted on Google before (ahem, Buckner...where is that ol' chap anyway??)
Better love connection news....well, no connection, but I caught the eye of someone the other day. I was at our championship swim meet on Saturday and there he was. Clad in white with whistle around his neck. The Official. Ah. I noticed him from afar, but when I got closer. He noticed me. I''m not being cocky, but he kept staring at me and made some silly joke about one of the other officials leaving for a "tobacco break." It was like he was me having a Bridget Jones. Except he's a boy, so I guess he had a Mark Darcy. We kept exchanging glances throughout the meet. I talked big about dropping my number in his pocket to one of the other coaches. But as usual...I'm all talk. No game. So if you're out there hot-official-with-the-dark-hair-dreamy-eyes-and-cute-smile, hopefully I'll catch you at another meet...or sooner. The only worry...that he's a college boy. We were at IUP. For some reason, I just can't judge age anymore.

Words:
I feel like my postings are becoming a little bolder in the sense that I'm not holding back as much, though there is a ton behind the brick wall I'm trying to climb in my writing. My main concern is...strike that....used to be losing a potential job because of this. However, being I haven't hear much on the job front, I think the stars are fucking that up all by demselves.

I'm almost done with Da Vinci. I know...it's taken all summer to read, but I've been tooooooooo busy to sit down with it. I will read it again when I have a weekend to myself. I will say it's excellent.

A Rolling Stone Gathers....

Better mood today. Not much, but I'm not on the verge of tears. Lesterhead and Terible had some good questions and advice.

Do we always do what we want, or do what we need? Now, isn't' Mick Jagger ringing your ears right now...You can't always get what you want, you get what you need...

How does that work then? Not that I don't ever do what I want, but I usually do what's safe and sensible. I haven't moved in 4 years out of the 'rents house because it didn't make sense. No sense to pay unnecessary rent when the town is 2 miles long and I wasn't in a position to buy a house. But, now...I've bought a house in a town I don't want to live in. Why? It's a good investment. I know I'll make money on the resale. What scares me the most? Is that I'll get stuck here. The permanence of owning a house. Permanent. Forever. Solid.

Is it mathematical then?

Doing what we want = getting what we need.
Doing what we need = getting what we don't want.
Doing what we don't want = ?????????

Sign of the Zodiac Speaking...

Where has the summer gone? I know it's not over, but I feel like I've not had a summer. I took a nap today for the first time in at least a month. It was pretty good, but not as relaxing as I wished it would have been. I woke up feeling guilty that I should have been putting my cabinet doors on or unpacking a box or something. As much as I have been wanting to move, I think my subconscious isn't ready. Not sure why, but something's weighing heavy. Neville sure isn't ready to move. We stayed the other night and he kept me up all night. I brought him over when I was doing yard work and he literally barked for 4 hours. I think he was saying something like, "what have you done to get us kicked out?" And I wanted to answer him, "I'm not sure, but it sucks."

So to answer your comment, Cags...30 is somewhat uneventful and burdensome. Not that I expected some huge revelation...okay, so maybe I did expect a life-changing event. That's my nature. My head-in-the-clouds, optimistic view that makes me the chipper person that I always am (scoff) usually leaves me let down. I have top expectations and then reality sets in and I'm disappointed. Maybe it's the moon, maybe it's the time or maybe it's just me, but I feel very unsettled at this point. I'm one of those people that thinks that everything happens for a reason., but I haven't quite seen a reason for the way things have fallen. It's not what I've chosen, but what's been decided by default. In a nuthell...I hate my town, job, dating status and social life at this point. And for those of you saying it could be worse..."be happy you have a job and a place to live"...a big fat raspberry to you. It's my pity party right now. Don't spoil it with your objective point of view.

Needless to say this isn't my night. Or week. My oven doesn't work, my dog hates my new house, I don't have a new job, and I'm still stuck in this shithole county: alone and dateless none the less. I'd really like to go to bed, wake up in 1998 and start all over again. At least 1999 or 2003.

Damn, am I Crabby.

We're here to PUMP, YOU UP!

(My boyfriend in grade school gave this to me...'wonder if it's still in the basement somewhere?)

Started weight training for the first time -seriously- since about 1993. Yikes. I'm not too sore, so I know I'm not overdoing it. Trying to get in shape to join the Master's swim league. (Swim team for adults if you will...) I've been saying I wanted to do it for the past two years. I checked out some of the meet results and I won't come in last...so I'm willing to join. Plus...if I put the right amount of training in, by October (I think the first meet is sometime around there) I should be pretty well off.

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I promise to get pictures of before/after of my new house up. But, I need to resized them or not be a cheapass and upgrade on flickr. Any suggestions besides Adobe Photoshop?

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by the way....thanks for all the help on revamping my blog! (scoff)

Can Someone Help Me?

Help...on three things.

1. I'm a tech retard. I have had my Bluetooth thingy since February and I can't figure out how to hook it up. It's pretty much supposed to do it on it's own, but I can't even figure that out. I should head on to Verizon and have the hot little tech guy help me. He's got tattoos and such which is not usually my type, but looks dapper in his uniform. Hmm....

2. This blog needs some work. Like I said, I'm not savvy on the tech side, but I can (usually) follow directions. It looks boring. All I could come up with on my links section is "Totally Readable" which is totally lame sounding. Basically I feel like my blog should be on 10 Years Younger or What Not To Wear. It's not awful, but need some aesthetic updating.

3. This blog may be borderline boring, too. I need more interactive topics. But, then again...I need readers to contribute. So, if you're lurking...holla out and suggest some topics. Regulars...you're comments are always welcome and most respected.

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This isn't really help, but kinda funny. Every morning a few of the girls get out and walk 5-6 miles. (We're teachers so we're not doing much else in the summer.) Anyway...we've (I've) been semi-stalking a certain gent on our walk. He drives past the same time everyday...between 7:55-8:00 AM. He's not from this shithole as his Virginia plates on his Toureg (ahh...hear the angels sing on my dream car) indicate. Well, now we know where he lives as one of the girls was driving behind him on his way home to his apartment. (AND! It's near my new house!)

Okay...so this may not be funny anymore, but possibly borderline Bundy. It's not like we're peeking in his windows...

So now we know where Toureg lives and the route he drives.

My guess is that he works at Nemacolin Resort somewhere as that's pretty much all that's left to go with the direction he's traveling. I keep saying that I'm going to wave to him ('cause you know...we both drive VW's so we have that thing going on) but I haven't done it yet. So I'll give him a shout out on here in case he's cyber-stalking-googling hot girl who walks every morning in Uniontown, PA.

If you catch this, Toureg guy...give a beep and I'll wave. If you're wondering about me, I'm single, have a job, own a house and have good credit. We'll go from there.

And to keep my self amused and all of you if you care...I'll try to post the Toureg Report.

After 30

It's not as bad as I thought....30.

It might just give me the edge I've been needing (or at least the excuse to be a bigger bitch then I already am.)

"What? Uh, no. I don't want to. Why?? Because I don't."

"It's because she's thirty. If she were in her 20's she would say yes."

I will say I almost threw down with Rainman (yes...I ran into him again on the 4th.) I tried to ignore him most of the night, but he was egging me on by being super fucking annoying. What gets me is...why is anyone friends with him? I know why. Because we all have that one friend who annoys the living shit out of us, yet we keep them around. (Wondering if you're that person, eh?)
Anyway...I couldn't take it anymore. So, I pulled the Bully Handbook out of my teacher mind and gave him the

"Quit harassing me. It's my birthday, you can't do that on my birthday." (That was my nice attempt to tell him to shut the F up.)

"I can do anything I want." (Are you kidding me?)

"Uh, no you can't."

Some random banter and yet AGAIN, the douchebag says something to me to which I so maturely replied...

"Christ. You're worse than a woman!"

Score: One point for 30-year old GITC. Heh. Take that Corky.

(Other than being harassed randomly,) my birthday was pretty good. Funny enough I was asleep by 11:30? I just can't hang anymore. More celebrations will be on Friday. Unlike me, the majority of my friends work the day after the 4th. Damn does that suck.

Got a pedicure today. I like the girl that does my nails. She's very sweet. She does want to talk all the time...and I don't really want to. That's kinda like my time to not talk and be pampered. Like when I get my hair done, I love when she puts me under the dryer for color. I can read a magazine and not be interrupted. I feel bad as well because her broken English is a bitch to understand and add that to the hum and clatter of all the water, nail machines and music...I end up saying, "Hmm? What's that?" about six thousand times. She does a bang up job, though. Girls Love Pink is now on my toes. I still want that job at OPI naming nail polish.

30

Thirty.

30.

Treinta.

Thirty is:

The number of days in the months April, June, September and November (and in unusual circumstances February - see February 30).

The total number of major and minor keys in Western tonal music, including enharmonic equivalents.

In years of marriage, the pearl wedding anniversary.

The duration of the Thirty Years' War.

Used to indicate the end of a wire service story. (Possibly a corruption of German fertig -
"finished, ready" or in journalistic context "end of story"?)

The code for international direct dial phone calls to Greece.

The house number of 30 St Mary Axe (The Gherkin)

The designation of Interstate 30, a freeway that runs from Texas to Arkansas.

The designation of U.S. Route 30, a highway that runs from Oregon to New Jersey.

Various other routes have been numbered "30"; for example, New York State Route 30 which runs from the Pennsylvania border to the Canadian border.

The designation of E30, the European route from Cork to Samara.

The number of tracks on The Beatles' eponymous album, usually known as The White Album.

Part of the name of:
Thirty odd foot of grunts, the band fronted by actor Russell Crowe

In the title of the movie 13 Going on 30, starring Jennifer Garner.

In the title of the Food Network show 30 Minute Meals.

The number of cars in the Nintendo 64 game F-Zero X.

Historical years: 30 A.D., 30 B.C., or 1930
-30-, a motion picture about work in a Los Angeles newspaper, starring Jack Webb and William Conrad

Also a stage in young adulthood.

The number that New York Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist wears in the NHL. Lundqvist wore
35 in Sweden, but since number 35 is retired by the Rangers for former goalie Mike Richter, he chose 30 instead.

From...Wikipedia...

Moving On Up....

I moved this weekend. Backed up from June 1st, it was July 1st. I still have more things to move (clothing, pictures, etc...) but I want to downsize. I don't need to move that same box of junk I haven't been looking at for the past few years. I'll be tackling that stuff today and off to Goodwill I go.
Thanks to Danni and MaryAnn...I wouldn't have been able to move everything without you.

One thing...I'm so embarrassed...I have about 75 different glasses. White wine, red wine, champagne, water, martini, milk, blah, blah... It's a serious obsession. I will say this. You will always have the correct glass to drink out of at my house. (And I just remember these tumblers that I know I didn't move so it must mean they're hiding somewhere.)

Once I get my window treatments up and the thermostat set up, I'll be able to stay. The rents are away right now, so I don't feel like I'm being forced out (this week.)

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Saw The Devil Wears Prada this weekend. Very good. I didn't read the book. Not sure why, I just think I didn't get around to it. Lesterhead and I agree with the review of the clothes and fun movie. Go see it. Worth it.

Also rented The Family Stone. Cute. Not fabulous and a little far fetched, but cute. SJP was good, but I think she needs to play a villian or something like Jennifer Aniston did in The Good Girl to jump out of the type-cast role. She reminded me of Carrie with the Russian. Maybe a crazed murderer part would be good for her.

One. Day. Left.....of 29. Hmmph. Thanks to Jay for my 30th birthday/new house gift. I love it!

More cleaning out to do...I swear this never ends.

It's been...

So my shitty-ass week (which has -unfortunately- not come to an end) has stumbled me upon this post. Ah, Lesterhead....you always seem to say the right thing at the right time.


20 Years Ago I...was awaiting to turn double digits, spending my summer at the local pool, getting up at 8 for swim team practice, watching Nanny and Professor every morning.

10 Years Ago I...was spending my days working day care for 6 weeks, smoking cigarettes every night at Denny's or Eat n' Park each night, being singel after 2 1/2 year relationship, not wanting to live in Fayette County.

6 Years Ago I...living in Volant, had just opened my consignment shop and was contimplating closing it, dating an asshole, living in a shitty apartment, planning a vacation to Pennsacola, heading into the last year of my grad school classes.

3 Years Ago, I...was living in Fayette County, hating it, teaching ESL to a Chinese boy, laying out at the pool, dreading my 27th birthday, had experience Mardi Gras, hoping for a new job, wondering why the hell I had to move home with my parents, trying to get my "self" back.

1 Year Ago, I...hassling with Match.com, hoping for a new job, laying out at the pool, awaiting my vacation to the Dominican Republic, loving my new dog.

So far this year, I...completed my second year in my school that is super rough (and survived) coached my first year of middle school and varsity swimming, placed 11th in the WPIAL in swimming with my team and went to states, celebrated Mardi Gras a 4th time, started swimming (seriously) again, really got my "self" back, bought a house, and bought some great furniture!

Yesterday, I...walked 5.5 miles, worked my ass off in my house, took my dog to the Emergency vet, cried myself to sleep.

Today, I...went to Lowe's, worked in my house, walked 3 or 4 miles with my dog, went to practice, moved some furniture into my new house, drank wine, watched The Notebook.

Tomorrow, I will...walk 5.5. miles, have coffee with friends, paint my kitchen, move some furniture, go to practice, drink some wine, pack some things.

In the next year, I will...have a new job and live in another new place (power of positive thinking)

In the next minute, I will...drink more wine, cry a little, dream about my new life this year.

I Hate German Shepherds

As if this week couldn't get any busier or any worse between fighting the painters, finding the the garbage men, paying the contractor....

Neville gets attacked by a German Shepherd.

I'm so pissed, upset, flaming-fucking mad. This dog was NOT on a leash. The only good thing about it was that my dad was walking him. He had to kick the dog about 15 times before the dog would leave. Had it been me walking the dog....well, I don't even want to think about what would have happened.

The German Shepard is an asshole. Every time I walk past the house on our walks, the dog comes flying at the fence. The neighbor was watching it yesterday... I hope they euthanize it.

This adds to one more reason I don't like big dogs. People don't know how to raise them. They get them as these status symbols and "guard" dogs. My best friend had a German Shepherd growing up that was very gentle. Unfortunately, not everyone pays attention to their dogs like she did.

Poor Neville. Two staples, antibiotics, pain killers and a trip to the Emergency Vet ($184 that the owner will be paying) he's doing well. A little shaken and scared, but he's a tough little guy.

Chandelier

My "new" chandelier....thanks to Danni.

Cleaned and painted....Voila!

13 Days and Looming...

13 days....and looming.

T H I R T Y

I thought at 24, 25 and 26 my major breakdowns during my birthday were due to my less than sub-par boyfriend. Well, maybe they were partly due. Partly because I was disgusted where I was in my life. Crappy job, no "home" and shitty fucking relationship. Well now I have a decent job (not ideal as far as geography and pay, but it's better than slinging beer and muchies for tips,) I just bought a house, a great dog and no relationship --which is slightly better than the sub-par previous dickhead. Why do I still feel like my life is in a downward spiral? I know it's not that bad...but I hate getting older. The question is why?

I don't think I look older. But, my sense could be warped. I also have the opposite of anorexia. I look in the mirror and think I look pretty good, but then I get a picture back and I'm like shit. I look like shit. So, I might be some haggard wench, however I think I still look 22.

I was reading People magazine last night and the issue was of eligible bachelors. Taylor Hicks was in there. Something about him...sexy! And, he attributes his entertainment life to the Flora-Bama. Hello?? That's one of my favorite places. Taylor....People says your looking for a girl who can entertain herself because of your busy schedule, well here I am. Drop this Girl In the Corner an email, Bud.

I'm sure there will be some more random bitch posts from me.

*On a happy note....my sister is engaged!

Dogsitting

I'm dogsitting for a week. Yes, what a girl will do for money. Not too bad...the dogs are cute, but crazy. I've been up every day at 4 AM: because they want to PLAY!!

More blogging later. Check out the new banner I'm attaching. I know it's lame that a celebrity can't afford to pay the mortgage, but I love Saved By The Bell.

Poison Ivy

And to boot....I have POISON IVY!

I've never had poison ivy in my life. One of the kids at swimteam practice (I'm nuts and decided to coach summer league) has it and I didn't even touch him! Shit. Any ways to get rid of it?

Frankly, I don't give a damn

House is coming along. Had some problems with the drywall finishing...arg! But, they're being fixed (by someone new) and soon to be painted. Carpet will follow and voila! I'll be able to move in. I'm going to say 2 weeks?

Had a funny Friday out. Weird, but somewhat amusing. Went out for my friends' birthdays on Friday night. A friend of a friend was out among us. Very bizarre guy. Like, um, really weird. And...obnoxious. So jokes were being told. Stupid ones, yada, yada. So this weird guy tells some joke that I can't even repeat because I truly did not get it (way too academic...I think you needed to be a Rhodes scholar to get it.) Anyway, everyone just kinda looked. Now, I was a bit on the frank side that night for some reason. So I say, "What's that mild for of autism called?" Now...I know it's not nice to make fun of people, but I simply was aiming at the fact that none of us knew the history lesson within the joke he told. All of a sudden the weird guy says, "My shrink tried to diagnose me with Asperger's last year!" Hmmm...."Oh. Well, uh sorry...?" He then starts ranting how that isn't what he has and he's not dumb. "I wasn't saying you were dumb, just that you have to be a Rhodes scholar to understand that lame ass joke." Now I'm annoyed and laughing because my drunk friend Danni is repeating "Ass Burgers."
Being that I teach a lot of kids with learning disabilities among the 1000's of emotional problems they have I start to think. Wait a minute...you don't know you have that? You just have it. Whatever...I can tell you what was wrong with him. Being that he was terribly effeminate and flirting with the (gay) owner of the bar...I think he needed a good old fashioned coming out party. I know I sound harsh at this point, but if you would have witnessed his pretention in mentioning every wonderful great thing he had done, tasted, experienced, spoken and farted, you would understand. He didn't proclaim these things to the group, he just told one person next to him - LOUDLY. Nothing I hate worse than attention seeking pretentious people who claim to have mental disorders. Those of you who know me...you know who I'm talking about. Needless to say Rainman and I didn't hit it off too well. Nor did he hit it off with my other friend Mara as he screamed "FUCK YOU" across the intimate setting we were lounging in when she claimed she liked cheese dip. Pop a quaalude buddy and wear you rainbow. There's my shrink advice...free of charge.

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I think I may have been a little too frank on Friday, (frankly I don't give a damn) but I'm a little irritated lately. Not with anyone, but with time. 22 days until I turn 30 and I'm not handling it well. I did not have a good time with 24, 25, 26. My 27th was okay. 28th..eehh. 29 I just gave up. I don't know what I'm looking for in my 30th, but I'm hoping some revelation comes up, some opportunity, something different....something!

My Space(s)

My Space...

Anyone on it? I feel rather behind the times that I'm not on MySpace. Though I also find all the contraversy about it amusing. Parents seem to think MySpace is The DEVIL (no pun to yesterday's 6-6-06 reference.) I think that these types of sites could be dangerous...just as any activity kids are involved in could be. It's called parenting. Maybe I don't have a clue because I don't have kids, but how about monitoring what your kids are doing? Don't keep a computer in the bedroom...don't let your kids sit on the computer (high-tech babysitting)...letting your kids know it's not okay to take naked pictures of yourself and display them on the net. I feel like I have some clue on parenting being that I parent 20-25 kids 9 months out of the year. Okay...enough ranting. Let's talk more about MySpace.

Should I be on MySpace? Can everyone see you on MySpace? I don't know that I want that as I'm not sure I want students/employers reading about me.

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Now onto "my space." I'm picking out carpet today. I also need to look for light fixtures. That's something I so do not want to spend a lot of money on. I'm going to hit the clearance section of Lowe's and Home Depot. I did find two lamps at Value City that are really cute and only $20 a piece.

I promise to have more interesting topics to write about. Any suggestions?

I (Heart) Boyfriends

Oh my....so busy. I can't believe I haven't updated since the 18th. What's new? Not much. A whole lot. The house is coming along great. I should be moved in a couple weeks. I'm looking forward to school being out and getting moved and organized in a new place.

I could bore with the details of the past 10 days, but I won't. What I will excite (bore) you with are some things I've been thinking about lately.

I miss having a boyfriend. The past 4 years I've been in and out of that feeling. More out than anything. It was easy because most of my friends didn't have significant others. Well, seems one by one they are acquiring their beaus and now I'm starting to be reminded of how nice it was to have one. Believe it or not, I did have a couple decent boyfriends. I've been having dreams about them lately, too. Friends and family keep asking me if I'm going to do online dating again. The answer: not now and most likely never again. I just hated it. I dreaded looking at my email. I picked apart every profile that winked at me (which wasn't difficult with most of them.) There were some decent options, but I hated the whole anxiety of it. What makes me reconsider doing it again is that a few of my friends have found some pretty awesome guys, though I'm still not convinced to try it again.

Turning 30 in about a month. Ugh. I'm getting that birthday anxiety I had at 25. I don't know what I'm doing for my birthday this year. I'm throwing a "White Trash" party the weekend after, but I hope I have something fun to do. If you're looking to get me a gift....something over 6 feet with an XY chromosome is preferred. (See above paragraph) Trouble finding that?? Then something bubbly and consumable is an okay swap.

I'm done complaining for now...I'm sure there will be a lot more building up to the dreadful day in July.

Mini-Cap

So I wish I knew where FES was from. That 70's show is over. Great ending. I'm happy Donna and Eric are together....and how appropriate that they went off into the 80's. Had Fox been smart, this is when they would have started The 80's Show.

Will and Grace...great ending. It wasn't as sad as Friends, but I liked it.

For some reason I just thought of Saved By the Bell....Dan I hope you're reading this because I'm thinking of your SBTB song...

Home Owner

It's official.

I'm a home owner.

Moving date is the first week of June.

In 2036...the whole place will be mine.